The Out-of-Sync Child Grows Up

A book review about coping with sensory processing disorders in the adolescent and young adult years.

Kranowitz, C.S. (2016). Out-of-Sync Child Grows Up: Coping With Sensory Processing Disorder in the Adolescent and Young Adult Years. New York, NY. The Penguin Group.

In Carol Kranowitz’s first book The Out-of-Sync Child, many challenges and strategies of living with sensory processing disorder (SPD) are brought to light. It was an enlightening read that I would recommend to professionals, parents, and friends that interact with individuals of all ages, stages, and diagnosis involving SPD. Based on the knowledge I gained from that book, I was excited to read its sequel The Out-of-Sync Child Grows Up. The material is very applicable to the age groups and backgrounds that Three-Chord Music Therapy works with. 

Before jumping into details of the book, think back to when you were a teenager or young adult. The hormone changes, the emotions, the desires or disappointments, the perspective you had on life, how you compared yourself to others, maybe even how you judged others around you, and so on. Teenage years can be an awkward time of maturing and an exciting time of development, but they can also be a painful stage if support systems are not present. We can all remember mentors, parents, siblings, teachers, and coaches that influenced and encouraged us. But, what if you were different physically? What if you couldn’t wear clothes that were in style because they irritated your skin or you couldn’t participate in extracurricular activities due to physical challenges? What if people didn’t understand and support you? Not having certain opportunities in this stage of life can feel confusing, unfair, and often hurtful, as peers are not always accepting of anything or anyone deemed “different”.  This is something that individuals with SPD face, especially considering that SPD is often diagnosed alongside other diagnoses such as autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and attention deficit disorder. 

I would like to focus mainly on what Kranowitz shares about coping with relationships and gaining self-acceptance. Often individuals with diagnoses that cause them to perform differently than others are also seen differently, which can have a significant emotional impact. Through working with multiple populations that face SPD, especially motor movement differences and communication challenges, I know not to assume anything based on what is seen on the outside. There is always more going on with the body and mind of a person than what we see on the outside. This book exemplifies that reality.

Let’s talk about negativity. Many different emotions, like shame and guilt, stem from negativity. For individuals with sensory differences, these feelings are a huge issue. This is important for teachers, peers, caregivers, and especially families of individuals with SPD to be aware of. Although SPD has no found cure, individuals and families can learn to make adaptations and live in a way that works for them. Instead of frustration when it takes longer for an individual with SPD to complete classwork, there should be encouragement. Kranowitz shares one adult male’s testimony with SPD, who stated, “Stop listening to those that don’t understand you”. The individual went on to encourage people to research their symptoms, reframe their situation, and seek out effective therapeutic resources to help them overcome big challenges. This individual had friends and family that supported him throughout an occupational therapy journey. Overtime he was able to report feeling hopeful instead of hopeless in a world of sensory obstacles. 

Sensory obstacles come in all forms. There are sensory modulation disorders, sensory discrimination disorders, and sensory-based motor disorders. No matter the form, everyday tasks like getting dressed, eating meals, and travel have unique challenges. Many normal daily activities may be painful, over stimulating, or physically challenging to individuals with SPD. Considering this, Kranowitz emphasizes the importance of family relationships amongst this population. 

As teenagers with SPD struggle emotionally, so can their close family members. It is not easy when a parent lacks understanding for the way their child reacts to certain situations or stimuli. The family dynamic can be negatively affected if therapeutic approaches and lifestyle adaptations are not utilized. An example shared in the book is that of a teenager who grew up feeling distant from her parents and siblings because she was misunderstood. Her reactions to scratchy clothes and loud noises were treated as misbehaviors. When she would have a “meltdown” and receive additional attention from her parents, her siblings teased her and exhibited jealousy towards her. It wasn’t until later in life that she was diagnosed with mild autism and SPD. She was thankful to finally have an answer to why she felt so out of place. 

For diagnosis like SPD music therapy becomes a wonderful option, because it creates a therapeutic atmosphere that is client centered, effective, and generalizable in the home. Music also becomes a means of sensory integration and coping through the support of music interventions. In chapter 13 individuals share examples of their successes and thriving careers. After years of therapy, supportive families, informed teachers, and applied coping strategies, they were able to overcome challenges to accomplish their goals. Several of them mention music in their excerpts. There is a drummer and a singer, both advocates in the SPD community. They share about how music was their lifeline, as it restored order in their bodies when other activities were too much (Kranowitz, 2016). 

It is important to note that this book has a strong occupational therapy focus, but encourages all therapy options. After reading the testimonies and complimentary terminology to music therapy, I would LOVE to find the music therapy based equivalent of this book. Music therapy fits in so well with this population, and I have seen first hand sensory success made in music therapy sessions. One beneficial technique mentioned throughout this book is deep pressure. In music therapy we utilize a similar technique, called rhythmic body mapping. Other techniques used are lyric analysis, sensory integration using music and instruments, movement to music, music performance, and therapeutic singing. 

The information this book has to offer is GREAT and it was an enjoyable read. The author connects the medical research to real life examples. It was truly eye opening. For anyone wanting to read more into how it feels to live with SPD or a diagnosis with similar challenges, this is definitely the book for you!

15 Fun Ways to Use Music

Make your music work for you! 

As a music therapist I get to see music transform people’s lives every day. Music can certainly help parents teach while fostering a loving and positive environment. Keep reading for tips on being aware of how music can shape the mood of your home. 

1. Play time – Music can be such a fun part of playtime. Channel your inner child and think “What would they want to hear?” Pick themes (all about monkeys, all about space, farms, etc.) and use them to shape imaginary play.  **Also, don’t feel like it has to be all about them, young children can enjoy ALL types of music. Pick some of your favorite songs one day! You should enjoy this time too. Plus, good music makes everything more tolerable. 

2. Dance break/Brain break – Having a hard time with homework? Feeling tension and frustrations rising? Maybe you need a “cool down” or a “dance break” song. Whether you need something chill & mellow or upbeat to lighten the mood this is a great way to RESET a restless kiddo and REMIND yourself to loosen up. Give everyone a chance to reset and try again. Pull out the speaker and pick a 3-5 minute song to change the mood.

3. Timer – Music is a natural timer with most songs being anywhere from 3-6 minutes. Instead of using a timer, sometimes use a cleaning playlist. Let your kids help pick the songs so that they have a part in the process. When the music starts, everyone starts picking up the house. When it stops you stop. Using songs can make transitions feel a little less threatening for children, especially children with any anxieties or behavioral issues. Let the music do some of the work for you. 

4. Routine– Make playlists! Routines and schedules can be very helpful when transitioning to a new way of living or simply when trying to implement new habits/traditions/etc. How can music make this easier for a family? Children will learn to recognize songs and it can help them understand or predict the structure of their day. For example, with young children, it helps to find a song to sing while preparing for bed, changing diapers, during bath time, before naps, during mealtime, etc. 

5. Relaxation– Calming music benefits everyone. Music helps us relax and we should use it during stressful times. We recommend the calm app or making a  personal playlist for you and your children. 

6. Naptime/Bedtime- If your child has trouble sleeping, use calm, quiet music to help entrain sleep. When the child hears the familiar calming music they will begin to associate that with the comforts of sleep. Be aware of how music affects the atmosphere in your home. When it’s time to settle down, lower and slower is the way to go! 

7. Lyrical Book Reading– “reading” an old story with a musical twist can make any  book seem brand new! This singing is about sounding fun not pretty. So don’t worry about being perfect; your child will appreciate whatever creative melody you come up with. If your child doesn’t love reading this is also a fun way to encourage creativity while also checking off a book from the homework list! “You sing one page, then I’ll sing one page” etc. 

8. Self-Expression- make a game out of healthy communication and sharing feelings. During musical play ask your child, “How do you think mad sounds on the drum/pot/pan etc.? ..Now show me a mad face!” This is a playful way to talk about hard feelings and normalize conversation about emotions. 

9. Turn Taking- If sharing is something new to your little one try using music to cue turn taking. When the song changes or the music stops it is time to share. 

10. Impulse control–  Easy & fun game for little ones, we call it the FREEZE game. Make a playlist of about 10 of their favorite songs. Tell them to dance when they hear music and to freeze when it stops. Play and pause the songs to test out their impulse and listening skills. Add a ball or scarves to change up this game with siblings and friends. 

11. Art project– MAKE your own instruments out of household items! Decorate them with ribbons, markers, or tape.

  • Shakers- anything with a lid will do, just add dry rice or beans. 
  • Drums- pull out the tupperware or pots and pans. 
  • Rhythm instruments- wooden spoons, spatulas, sticks, etc. 

12. Theme Song- Make an activity out of writing, chanting, or singing a family theme song. It can be to the melody of your favorite song or you can use a song everyone already knows and loves. This can be a short and simple tune that uses family member’s names and highlights how your family is unique and fun! 

13. Distraction- Music can be a great distraction when you are waiting on dinner to cook, in a long line, or finishing a task. Sing a favorite song; even do motions with it. You may get some funny looks in public, but those are way more bearable than the alternative of a toddler meltdown! 

14. Live Music- Go to concerts and local musical performances. Many colleges and community centers have free events or low costs for children and families. This is a wonderful way to expose children to music variety while learning to be respectful audience members.

15. Make Memories– At the end of the day any musical activities will help you to make fun and creative memories with your children. TCMT encourages you to sing, dance, and get into the groove with your little ones as a form of bonding. You will find that everyone can benefit from musical moments. Enjoy!